Cutting Through the Obligation Noise and Trimming Your Wedding Guest List with Precision
Guy has some advice to give you while waiting at the Crimson Sky Ranch in Brooksville, Florida
In Part 1 of the Wedding Guest List Series, we discussed the Why behind your guest list. Today, we’re getting into the How. As a seasoned Orlando wedding officiant, I’ve stood at the altar and looked out at crowds ranging from 10 to 300. I can tell you exactly when a couple is surrounded by their ride-or-dies and when they’ve invited people out of a sense of decades-old obligation.
If you want your ceremony at The Hidden Barn or The Alfond Inn to feel intimate and intentional, you have to be ruthless. Here is my guide to filtering your list using the Digital Filter Method.
TL;DR
If you don't have their phone number and/or a current address, they aren't a guest; they’re an acquaintance. Your luxury wedding ceremony is for your inner circle, not your history class from 2012.
1. The Smartphone Rule (The Ultimate Litmus Test)
Open your contacts right now. If the person you are considering for an invitation isn't in your phone, they shouldn't be on your list.
No Phone Number? If you have to DM them on Instagram or LinkedIn to ask for their number, the relationship isn't current enough for your wedding.
No Address? If you don't already have their mailing address—or at least know exactly where they live without looking some stuff up—they aren't part of your inner circle. A luxury wedding is an intimate celebration, not a high school reunion.
Photo by Lillie Shawn Imagery at Historic Venue 1902, Sanford, Florida
2. The Socialized in Three Rule
I’ve seen couples invite former teachers, professors, and old mentors because they felt impactful a decade ago. Although that sentiment is lovely, a wedding is a celebration of your current life and your future together.
The Rule: If you haven't socialized with them in the last three years, leave them off.
The Context: Socializing doesn't mean liking their Facebook posts. It means brunch, a phone call that lasted over 20 minutes, or a meaningful text thread. If your relationship exists solely in the past tense and no new memories have been created in years, let it stay there.
3. The College and High School Tether
It is tempting to invite the whole old crew from college or your childhood neighborhood. But the version of you that knew them is likely different from the version of you standing at the altar today.
The Test: If you were at a restaurant tonight and saw them across the room, would you excitedly run over to hug them, or would you hide behind your menu to avoid the small talk trap? If it's the latter, they aren't a wedding guest.
4. The Met Both of You Requirement
For a ceremony to feel authentic, the people in the seats should know both of you.
The Exception: Obviously, long-distance family members get a pass.
The Reality: If your partner hasn't even met this person, why are they witnessing your most vulnerable, private promises? Your ceremony is a closed-loop of energy; don't break that loop with strangers.
5. The Exceptions
I get it, sometimes you just have to invite your second cousin or you feel you need to invite your college roommate. Every couple has those guests. The purpose of what I am saying to you all right here is to give you permission to think long and hard about who you should invite and to give you an accessible framework for doing so.
The ceremony space is decorated in a festive Mexican theme for a wedding at BLB Hacienda Venue in Sorrento, Florida
The Final Word
I’ve performed ceremonies where the couple spent the entire cocktail hour making polite small talk with former professors and distant acquaintances they hadn't seen in years. It’s exhausting, and it steals time away from the people who actually know your heart.
My Advice: If you haven't seen them, haven't called them, and don't have their digits saved in your favorites, keep the seat open for someone who truly champions your love story.
About Guy: I’m Guy, the heart and bowtie behind Guy Thee Wed. As a former school principal, I spent years mastering the art of "running the show" with calm, authority, and grace. Today, I use those same skills to ensure your ceremony is seamless, legally sound, and perfectly paced. When I’m not crafting signature ceremonies in Orlando, you’ll probably find me hunting for my next favorite bowtie or exploring Central Florida’s best hidden gems.