The Guest List: Who Actually Belongs at Your Ceremony?
Guy is mic’d up and ready to give you some advice about your guest list
Planning an Orlando wedding is a blast—until you sit down with a blank spreadsheet and realize you have to decide who gets to watch you say the most important words of your life.
Welcome to the first installment of The Guest List Series. Over the next few weeks, we are going to dive deep into the "politics" of wedding invites—from the office breakroom to the family reunion. But before we get into the "how," we need to talk about the permission.
TL;DR: The Guest List Ground Rules
Permission Granted: This is your day. You are not a host of a generic party; you are the stars of a sacred ceremony.
The Phone Test: If they aren't in your contacts, they shouldn't be in your chairs.
The House Rule: If they’ve never seen your living room, do they need to see your vows?
No "Pity Invites": Stop inviting people just because you hope they’ll say "no."
You Have Permission (No, Seriously)
As your officiant, I’m going to tell you the unvarnished truth: You do not owe anyone an invitation. Your wedding ceremony is an intimate circle. It is a moment of vulnerability, joy, and deep intentionality. Somewhere along the way, weddings became "community events" where distant cousins and your dad’s golf buddies feel entitled to a seat.
I’m here to give you permission to stop that cycle. If the thought of someone watching you cry during your vows makes you feel awkward or performative, that person doesn’t belong there.
The Concentric Circles: My Signature Process
When I sit down with my couples in Central Florida to craft their ceremony, I ask them to think about their guests in concentric circles.
The inner circle is your "ride or dies." The outer circles are the "maybes." Here is how you filter the noise:
1. The Phone Contact Audit
Open your phone. Scroll through your recent texts and calls. These are the people who are actually in your life. If you have to go to Facebook to find someone’s last name or realize you don't even have their phone number, why are they on your list? If they aren't a part of your digital daily life, they shouldn't be part of your physical wedding day.
Wedding cake by Cake Designers at Cottage on Lake Fairview in Orlando, Florida
2. The House & Fiancé Test
This is the ultimate reality check. Ask yourself two questions about every potential guest:
Have they ever been to our house? Have they actually met my fiancé?
If the answer to both is "no," you aren't inviting a friend; you’re inviting a stranger to a private event. Your wedding shouldn't be the place where your partner has to introduce themselves to your "close" friends.
3. Hoping They Decline - That’s Nutty
Let’s talk about the biggest mistake I see: The Pity Invite.
Couples often say, "Well, we have to invite Aunt Martha. She’s 90 and lives in Oregon; she’ll never come anyway." Stop it. This is madness! First, Aunt Martha might surprise you and hop on a plane. Second, every invite you send out creates "logistical ghosts." You’re tracking RSVPs and holding space for people you don't actually want there. Invite the people you want to see at the end of that aisle. Period.
What’s Coming Next…
I know, I know—"But Guy, what about my boss? What about my mom’s best friend? What about Aunt Matilda who we haven’t seen in 20 years?" We’re going to get there. This is just the beginning of your Guest List freedom.
Coming up in this series:
The Family Feud: Navigating familial obligations without losing your mind.
The Cubicle Conundrum: Who to invite from work (and how to skip the rest).
Hold Onto Your Hats: The "Child-Free" wedding debate.Your wedding is a production with many moving parts. A seasoned pro knows the unspoken rules of a high-end ceremony.
How Do I Get These People to RSVP?!: This part takes organization, diligence and a lack of fear.
The wedding party is waiting for an on-time ceremony start at Whitewood Ranch in DeLeon Springs, Florida.
The Final Word
Your guest list is the atmosphere of your wedding day. If you fill the room with people you feel obligated to entertain, you’ll spend your reception playing host instead of being a newlywed.
My challenge to you this week: Sit down with your partner and your phones. Go through your maybe list and apply the Phone & House Test. If they don't pass, highlight them in red. It’s the first step toward a ceremony that feels intimate, intentional, and 100% yours.
Read More Advice about How to Curate Your Guest List
Exactly Who to Invite to Your Wedding, According to a Planner - The Knot
8 Rules You Should Always Follow When Finalizing Your Wedding Guest List - Brides Magazine
About Guy: I’m Guy, the heart and bowtie behind Guy Thee Wed. As a former school principal, I spent years mastering the art of "running the show" with calm, authority, and grace. Today, I use those same skills to ensure your ceremony is seamless, legally sound, and perfectly paced. When I’m not crafting signature ceremonies in Orlando, you’ll probably find me hunting for my next favorite bowtie or exploring Central Florida’s best hidden gems.